Shoes by Siren; Dress designed and made by myself; Clutch by Sisley; Accessories by Forever New and Lovisa.

A few photos from Formal last night.
Coming home from school, and knowing you having so little time to get ready for such a big night, that was definitely a worry. Getting ready was fun, thank for the make-up Rachel, I love you.

The night was different from how I had expected it to be, but overall it was a good night, although shit went down, but then again the slut brough it all upon herself. Some of the people there were the sweetest. Basically everyone there was 180cm+, which totally sucks when you're only 165cm with heels. Everyone looked amazing; there were few dresses I fell in love with, and the boys look so cute suited up.

And you,
To be honest, I don't know what I want, or what you want anymore either. Stop playing around. Because from this point, you're no longer worth fighting for.

Where is the love?

I'm slowly pulling myself together. I have exams all of this week, and I'm not quite sure on how I'm going to cope. But I know that you're going to right beside me, as per usual. Keep me strong, and keep my head held high, please John.

I think I was overdressed for church, but I do not care. After mass, I decided to stay back, 'cos Andrew was being a rat, and also because Katrina and Simon were staying. We filled ourselves with food, and then had a little photo shoot session. Keeping it all natural. Can't you tell from the photos? Then Lil David came and picked me up. Thanks babe, hehe.

Time to go and try and study. I need to concentrate and focus.
I'm really missing you, and it hurts too much.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend lovelies. xx

Trashed and Vodka.

Yesterday, I barely slept. But then woke up at 7am, to get ready for my uncle's funeral. I spent the day at church for his final mass, and then back to Rookwood Cemetery, yet again. He was getting cremated, after the ceremony, everyone went to the back to communicate with each other over tea/coffee/food for a wake. It was too much for me to handle, with everything that was already going on, so I went for a walk. And tried to set my mind to Alax's grave. I eventually found my way there.

I spent about half an hour sitting beside him, talking and letting a lot out. I could feel that John was there too. Remembering back to Alax's burial, when I was crying on his shoulder. I left them a bundle of roses, and singular lilies. I really miss you boys. It's all finally sinking in. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm going to set my mind to it, and pull through. Promise.

I came home, and went straight to Hornsby to visit my aunty, so she could fix my braces. I was absolutely dead tired. But still pulled my lazy ass out to David's 20th birthday bash. It was a good night, overall. Anthony Merlin, you are beautiful, and I love you. Thank you for everything. It's been God knows how many years, 8-9-10? and you've still stood by me.

Do you guys like my costume? I made it. :-$ with the help of mama of course!

PS. Excuse the photos. Blame it on the alcohol. The punishment was "if you don't dress up, you have to take at least 3 absinthe shots straight". David wanted to watch me suffer, so strangled me and convinced me to drink it, and a whole load of other alcohol. Phong is still surprised over how I'm still standing after consuming so much.

You know it's better on the other side.

You’ve always been there for me, having my back, through basically everything. You told me whenever I needed anything that you would always be one call away, and you always have been, when times were rough, or when I just needed someone to annoy. You made me laugh and smile when things were hard, and looked out for me like your baby sister.

Teasing me was always something you did, and it would without a doubt always put a smile on my face and make my day, from this day on all your jokes will still make me and Anthony giggle and laugh like dick-heads. You were gone to soon, but truth is, you’re in a better place now, without any worries. You’re alongside with Alax, Robson and the rest of your family and brothers. Don’t party the heavens down too hard, yeah?

I’m glad that I got to speak to you, one last time, before you left so soon. One minute we were joking, the next you’re gone. I guess seeing you and catching up this weekend for my 8th birthday isn’t going to go to plan.

Waking up this morning and finding out, I hoped that it wasn’t true. Sitting in the first two periods praying and hoping that you were okay. But hearing the truth, made me cry. I didn’t think it would hurt this much.

Thank you for everything, honestly. I hope that through this, everyone else will open their eyes, and realize there’s so much more to life. Karma will get them boys back. You were always so strong, I promise to stay strong. Every memory I’ve had with you, will be kept and cherished.
I’ll see you soon, yeah?

I'm going to keep telling myself that although you're gone physically, you're still around mentally and spiritually. I don't think you'd ever had a second thought about how much you mean to me. But you do now, watching these tears fall from my eyes.

Whenever I look at the photo of your tattoo, I'll always smile. Why? The day you uploaded and tagged Christine as the lotus on your back, I asked you "does that make me the little one sitting on your shoulder?" your reply was something along the lines of me being a 2 year old, as per usual. We spoke on msn and had a few laughs as per usual. You think you're a big cunt, saying "you’re small enough to fit on my shoulder just like that little flower, princess!”

I love you, John Wisniewki. :-$ You’ll always be in my heart; then, now and always, like they say, gone but never forgotten, “for real brother” ♥

PS. Look after yourself up there, just like you looked after us all down here.